A Little Automotive Humor

Because we could all use some humor right about now, we’ve compiled our favorite cheesy car/automotive jokes and cartoons to brighten your day and provide some much-needed entertainment. Enjoy!

If you get run over by an electric car, is it assault and battery?

What do you call a Ford Fiesta that ran out of gas?

A Ford Siesta.

I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seatbelt. 

Then it clicked.

What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?

Carlos.

When I got the bill for the engine rebuild, I blew a gasket!

What happens when a frog’s car breaks down? It gets toad.

I had a dream last night that I was a car muffler. I woke up exhausted.

What kind of cars do cats drive? 

Catillacs.

Why did the spider buy a sports car?

So he could take it out for a spin.

 

What happens to 13-year-old cars?

They get car-mitzvahed.

When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a driveway.

 

What kind of cars do cooks drive?

Chef-rolets.

 

What kind of car does a snake drive?

An Ana-Honda

 

Where do Volkswagens go when they get old?

The Old Volks home.

 

How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

 

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

 

What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

 

What snakes are found on cars?

Windshield vipers.

 

What kind of car does a dog hate?

CorVETS.

 

My relationship with my chauffeur just isn’t going anywhere.

It feels like he’s always trying to drive me away.

 

When the musician got in a car accident, his guitar was destroyed.

The accident was a Fender bender.

 

What do you call a Norwegian prostitute?

A Fjord Escort.

 

What kind of petrol does Vin use?

Diesel.

 

I ran my Subi into a lake.

Now it’s a Scubaru.

 

Why can’t motorcycles hold themselves up?

Because they are two-tired.

 

What’s the difference between BMWs and Porcupines?

Porcupines carry their pricks on the outside.

 

 What part of the car is the laziest?

The wheels, because they are always tired.

 

What did the tornado say to the sports car?

Want to go for a spin.

 

Why did the cop pull over the U-Haul truck?

He wanted to bust a move.

 

What do you call a used car salesman?

A car-deal-ologist.

 

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?

He’s all right now.

 

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ?

Carpet.

 

Why are pigs bad drivers?

They hog the road!

 

What do you get when you cross a Mustang and an elephant?

A convertible with a big trunk.

 

Where do dogs park their cars?

In the barking lot.

 

What do you get when you cross a race car with a spud?

Crashed potatoes.

 

What’s a car’s favorite meal?

Brake-fast.

 

What has 10 letters and starts with G-A-S?

Automobile.

 

Why do chicken coops have only two doors?

If they had four, they would be chicken sedans.

That’s all folks!